Message for Miss Nelly Furtado

Memo to Nelly Furtado and her stuck in the 80's Entourage: Crocket and Tubbs want their helicopter and their landing pad back.



I can only assume that Hype Williams had nothing to do with Furtado's latest self-indulgent attempt at style over substance in her new music video. Let's run through the checklist of lameness:

1. Incessant close-ups, CHECK.

2. Incessant changes to hair style, CHECK.

3. Incessant shots of Timbaland rapping/whispering/pretending to sing the sample in Furtado's ear, TRIPLE CHECK.

4. Incessant background dancers wearing the clothes and using the moves from the guys in the Black Box videos, CHECK.

5. Incessant attempts to make Furtado look sexy (e.g., wet t-shirt worn in the rain in some back alley) while leaving the viewer wondering how their gr. 7 gym teacher could look hotter in track pants and a perm (but damn, could she blow a whistle), CHECK

When your music videos are lamer than those of Mad Child and Prevail, it's time to hang up the vocal chords and go borrow Tyra's talk show mic. BRU-TAL...