Time's 2006 "Men of the Year"?

Not likely...

Television's heralded network of "no spin zones" and ratings show-toppers including, "Who's Your Daddy?" announced today that they would air an unrestricted, two-part interview with the Juice. This historic piece of journalism would delve deep... no, not into his esteemed life of public service, but rather into how he would have killed his ex wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, you know, if he really had gone ass-fuck crazy and slaughtered them back in 1994.

As soon as I read this story, I thought I heard the Doomsday Clock inch closer to midnight. But no, that was just the time ticking down on Alain Vigneaut's coaching tenure in Vancouver. However, in mere minutes I found out we really are that much closer to hell after learning of the $100 million offer recently thrown to FedEx for his alleged sex tape with his soon-to-be-divorced wife, Britney Spears.


OJ making money on a blueprint for murdering his wife. K-Fed soon to be making money on a blueprint for how to bone his pregnant pop star princess wife, and yet still be a choda.

A friend of mine offered this piece of advice: Round up OJ, K-Fed, Tom Delay, and maybe even a few of the guys who oppose Pakistan's new anti-rape law, lock them down with the utensils available in Hostel, film the whole gongshow and release it next Halloween. There you have it - Saw IV, done and in the bag. I think Britney would approve.