Vancouver doesn't need snowplows, c'mon...

Honestly, I could do a better job clearing the ice and snow off of Vancouver's roads with a salt shaker hanging out the side of my 10-speed. Does City Council even know what a snowplow looks like?

After setting rainfall records for close to two weeks, and having to deal with Ong Bak-like fights over bottled water in Costco ("Um, Steve, we need a clean up in isle 13 that requires a mop, bucket, and some plastic cuffs. Bring the bear spray if you've got it, too... Thanks."), the Left Coast is now getting slammed with a 30+ cm blizzard. Not good for a city whose residents consider an umbrella a wonderful substitute for a hat, gloves, snow boots, AND a shovel.

With the anticipated city shutdown on Monday in mind, here's the Fatty's 20 Words or Less movie picks for the week. Enjoy the shows, and snow...

"For Your Consideration" - Guest, Levy, O'Hara... plus Ricky Gervais & Fred Willard with a faux-hawk. 'Nuff said.

"Shadowboxer" - Cuba Gooding Jr. and Helen Mirren as assassins, lovers & um, mom and son. Beee-zarre.

"Feast" - Project Greenlight horror flick. Diverse cast, joke script, but monsters looking like back-lot rejects from "The Village."

"Lady Vengeance" - Third film in Park Chan-Wook's ("Oldboy") trilogy. Woman sent to prison. 13 years to plan her revenge. Jaw-dropping good.

"Spartan" - David Mamet's brillant take on the special men of special forces. Val Kilmer is lethal. The precursor to "The Unit."